Top 5 Relationship Red Flags – By Catherine M. Rodriguez Esq. Filler Rodriguez LLP

Top 5 Relationship Red FlagsTop 5 Relationship Red Flags:

1. Asking for Help with Debt at the Beginning of the Relationship

You meet a beautiful woman or a handsome man. You are swept off your feet. After dating for one month you think you have found your soul mate. Then they explain that they have student loans and are defaulting on them because they were ill, or they were in between jobs. If you hear this run. This person will not stop until you are fully supporting them. I have had clients who lent thousands of dollars to a person they were dating, getting nothing in writing and then when they were not paid back were left with no ability to get the money back.

2. They are Still Married

Chances are if he or she is cheating on someone else, they will cheat on you. When I meet with a client that met their spouse while their spouse was still married chances are the reason I am being consulted is that the spouse is cheating again. You may believe you are so special a person would not cheat on you but a cheater cheats usually because they are seeking the thrill of the hunt. So move on.

3. Drugs and Alcohol are Abused

An occasional crazy night out is ok but if every date and every time you are with someone, they are getting drunk or strung out on drugs, walk away. You will not rescue them, this is one of the relationship red flags.  You don’t want to have kids with a substance abuser. It is very hard to prove in court that someone has a substance abuse problem because most addicts are skilled at hiding their addiction. So, you will be chewing on your nails all night when your kids are with the addict worrying, they could be killed in a car accident.

4. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde

Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde refers to a person who is amazingly wonderful and then becomes unbelievably mean. Beware of the person who sweeps you off your feet one day promising you they will take care of you the rest of your life and then makes an insulting comment on what you are wearing or flies off the handle over a minor thing like a statement you made. This is the sign of an abuser. They begin their cycle of manipulation by promising you the world and you want to believe them. This type of person will seem too good to be true. If someone is too good to be true-they probably are.

5. They Speak Badly about their Ex

Many relationships don’t work out. But if you are with someone who has only negative things to say about their exes, it is a sign they have no insight into their responsibility for the relationship failure. Many people often say that they should have known their ex had problems because they were always complaining about their prior relationships not working. Now the ex is refusing to work on the relationship because they always think the problem is the other person’s fault.

If you are early in a relationship and you see these relationship red flags, it might be time to move on.